Life is ours, we live it our way...

Work in progress…

2009-06-05T12:04:00.001-04:00

I’m doing so clean up work around here in preparation for some changes to come. Please be patient.

Madly in Anger with The World

2008-07-24T14:49:00.001-04:00

All throughout my life I was usually angry at "The World". Not one person in specific; not one thing in specific. I was just angry. Took little for me to become angry at someone, something or just circumstances. There were times I wouldn't even need a reason to be angry. It was basically what fed me and drove me.

I can honestly say that the reason for this is rooted in my childhood years. I had a hard life growing up, not always being able to have the things I needed; not to mention the things I wanted. I had an unsupportive and absent father who would make a guest appearance every so often, usually with nothing to contribute to the show.

Moving to New York didn't exactly make things any easier or better. I struggled during my early adult life and this also contribute to my anger. Having to work dead end jobs that barely paid enough to make ends meet is not exactly the someone's idea of the perfect life.

Over the last few years I have learned to let go of some of the anger. I've learned to be happier and become a better person. I had better luck with my career choices and I was able to find myself in a position where I was able to afford not only the things I needed, but even some of those I wanted.

The scars remain along with some of the anger. It's hard to forget the past and learn to deal with it and get past it. It helps that I am now older and wiser; I can look back and see where I've come from and where I am. Knowing that I've been able to come this far makes me see where I'm going.

I hope that in my years to come I can completely move on and learn to be happy. I want to be able to make those around me happy. That is what now drives me.

Most of the anger is gone... although frustration remains. I am frustrated at recent events in my life. But there seems to be a glimmer of hope in the distance.

I am hopeful I will overcome this new challenge. I honestly don't want the anger back in my life...

10 Things I hate...

2008-06-06T02:41:00.001-04:00

1. I hate being sick
2. I hate being sick
3. I hate being sick
4. I hate being sick
5. I hate being sick
6. I hate being sick
7. I hate being sick
8. I hate being sick
9. I hate being sick
10. I hate being sick

U.S. of A. for Sale

2008-04-05T03:53:00.001-04:00

Bidders welcome...

Yesterday I woke up and tuned to CNN's American Morning, as I sometimes do. There I learned that during the month of March US companies eliminated a total of 80,000 jobs. I wasn't too surprised with the way the economy in this country has been slipping. The part the shocked me was that in the course of this year it is estimated that 320,000 jobs have been lost.

That in itself is a pretty scary thing. However, then I learned that this week 3 airlines stopped operations in the US. When you add the amazingly low and continuously dropping value of the Dollar, the subprime mortgage meltdown and the always increasing price on gas it's very hard to believe our amazing, super president that the economy will recover.

There is no doubt the economy will someday, eventually (perhaps) will recover. But there's this little voice in the back of my head that tells me that it won't be until dummy-boy leaves office. What's sad is that I don't think the worse is over. Be prepared as some of you may end up joining me on the unemployed group. Nice to see someone finally admit there's a recession:

"There is a recession. The question now is how deep and how long," said Lakshman Achuthan, the managing director of the Economic Cycle Research Institute.

On second thought; I'm sure the economy will bounce back once India and China start outsourcing their jobs to us. That will be a very entertaining and ironic day. Sad part is, it just may happen.

Life is ours, we live it our way...

2008-03-11T01:01:00.001-04:00

I still remember the first CD I ever bought. Everyone knows this album as the "Black Album", but in reality this is Metallica's self-titled album. In this album there's a song titled "Nothing Else Matters".

The second verse of the song goes like this:

Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters

This is a "love song" the lead singer of the band, James Hetfield, wrote to a now former girlfriend. He admittedly cannot remember why. As with every song, it is up to you how you interpret the message of the song. I've always found the first two lines on this verse interesting and to a great extent, I have lived my life based on it.

It's rare when I open up to someone and let them in. Most people will certainly agree with me on this. There has been few people that has seen me open and vulnerable. Those are the people that can understand what that line really means to me.

The second line of the verse can be related to the way I've lived most of my adult life. It's my life, I live it however I please to do so. This doesn't mean that I live a reckless life. It simply means that do not live my life based on whatever people say or think of me.

If someone likes me, then good. If someone doesn't like me, then good too. You want to call me an A-Hole, then stand on line; I'm sure someone from the club will come by and welcome you.

As far as the third and fourth lines; I usually only open my mouth when I have something to say that makes sense and it's coherent. The last line pretty much sums it up and brings it back to a full circle: Nothing else matters...

Down my own rabbit hole

2008-03-03T00:58:00.000-05:00

A few months ago I hit a bump in the road and I fell into a hole. This was no random hole, someone went out of their way to dig it for me. I had been watching out for it because I had a feeling that it was there, but I failed to see it. I slowly went deeper and deeper into this hole and I kept wondering how for it would go. I was hoping that I would be able to get out of it before it was too late and I wouldn't be able to get out of it. Desperation settled in...

I eventually found that it did have a bottom and that I had reached it. Here I am sitting at the bottom, trying to figure out how I will get up and fight my way out. I got up, dusted myself off and waited for my eyes to get used to the dark. Eventually I was able to see where I was and that's when I looked up. Anticipation settled in...

These people went out of their way to dig a hole and blindly lead me to it. They walked away and completely forgot about me. However; they made an error. They forgot to close the hole. What I saw when I looked up was light and an open sky. There's hope and there's a way out. All I have to figure out now is how to get back up there.

I'm in a dark place now, but I know there's people out there waiting for me. I know she's wondering when I will be out, but I know I will find a way. I just hope that it's not too late. Some days the light dims, but the next day it shines again. I'm just waiting until the day I'm on my own two feet again, walking on my path. I will surely be more careful where I step.

I have a feeling that the light will be brighter than ever tomorrow and that someone else's path will cross mine. Maybe this person will help me out.