All throughout my life I was usually angry at "The World". Not one person in specific; not one thing in specific. I was just angry. Took little for me to become angry at someone, something or just circumstances. There were times I wouldn't even need a reason to be angry. It was basically what fed me and drove me.
I can honestly say that the reason for this is rooted in my childhood years. I had a hard life growing up, not always being able to have the things I needed; not to mention the things I wanted. I had an unsupportive and absent father who would make a guest appearance every so often, usually with nothing to contribute to the show.
Moving to New York didn't exactly make things any easier or better. I struggled during my early adult life and this also contribute to my anger. Having to work dead end jobs that barely paid enough to make ends meet is not exactly the someone's idea of the perfect life.
Over the last few years I have learned to let go of some of the anger. I've learned to be happier and become a better person. I had better luck with my career choices and I was able to find myself in a position where I was able to afford not only the things I needed, but even some of those I wanted.
The scars remain along with some of the anger. It's hard to forget the past and learn to deal with it and get past it. It helps that I am now older and wiser; I can look back and see where I've come from and where I am. Knowing that I've been able to come this far makes me see where I'm going.
I hope that in my years to come I can completely move on and learn to be happy. I want to be able to make those around me happy. That is what now drives me.
Most of the anger is gone... although frustration remains. I am frustrated at recent events in my life. But there seems to be a glimmer of hope in the distance.
I am hopeful I will overcome this new challenge. I honestly don't want the anger back in my life...
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